The Pictures - Kampala Style

A trip to the cinema in Kampala is a guaranteed spot of entertainment – often not so much for the films, which are your general Hollywood twaddle, but more for the audience and the general experience. I know I shouldn’t complain as we are lucky to have a 4 screen cinema in a city right in the middle of Africa, and as my friend pointed out, popcorn is one of the few foods that Ugandans prepare particularly well – the other delicacy being Spanish omelettes! Even though the sound crackles and the screen flickers, it is still more up to date than the Odeon in Lancaster that I used to frequent in my student days, where you would often hear shouts of ‘two fat ladies – 88’ from the adjoining bingo hall! It is not without its quirks though. In the past, I have experienced power cuts and once I realised that the rather large blob that kept moving across the screen was infact a giant rat! The pre-movie adverts are like relics from the 1970s, with a hand-held camcorder and cheesy slogans promoting the latest newly built ‘executive homes’ (the word executive is used synonymously with luxurious here in Uganda – I’m not quite sure what an ‘executive’ bridal suite should offer – perhaps a free Filofax and oversized basic cell phone to truly embrace the spirit of the 80s?) which are just a ten minute drive from the centre of town … by Tardis I should imagine!


I had quite fancied seeing ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ as I was in quite a tetchy mood and I thought that the process of muttering and chunnering abuse at the infinitely irritating main character played by the even more aggravating Julia Roberts would be quite cathartic. Clearly this would not be such a lovely experience for anybody else, so instead we opted to see ‘Takers’ – some kind of cops and robbers film. Within minutes, the Ugandan members of the audience were splitting their sides with laughter. Now I have heard Ugandan audiences laugh uproariously at pathetic rom-coms that barely raise a smile from me, but this was meant to be full of suspense. The only point that made me laugh was that one guy was trying to sound like an East End gangster and failing miserably. When there was a slightly tense moment in the film, the lady next to me virtually leapt onto her partner’s lap. Meanwhile, I was unsuccessfully trying to stop myself from dropping off to sleep. I snapped awake as the closing credits rolled and wondered what it was all about!