Are you taking the Mickey, or what?

My quest to find a new job has begun. The forms and CVs have all been completed and now all I have to do is decide where in the world I want to go next and actually GET a job - not much then!

The choices of where to go are dizzying. Not only do I want to find a country in which I would like to live, but also try to find the right balance of salary, a school that looks welcoming, well resourced and offering opportunities for development, a social life outside of work, fun places to travel in the holidays and a good standard of living.

I'm using a specialised international teaching recruitment company that helps the process become a little easier. Each school publishes the vital statistics, such as the salary, benefits, the curriculum offered and details about the school community. I'm thinking of printing off all the forms and playing a giant game of 'International Schools Top Trumps'!
It would go something like this:
Salary: $55 000 a year beats $45 000
Flight allowance: Annual beats every 2 years

I wish I could make my mind up on where I would like to be. One minute, I think that Eastern Europe would be appealing; it's close to home, has some culture and I imagine the cost of living is still fairly reasonable. Then I remember that it would involve learning a really complicated language ... But it would be lovely to experience seasons again after 2 years in the land of eternal spring in Bogota and 3 years of the alternating 'hot and dry' and 'hot and wet' of Uganda. At the moment the 'hot and wet' is triumphing!

Then there is Asia, which with its diverse number of different cultures surely can't be lumped together as one homogenous group. The mixture of ancient and fascinating cultures and blossoming modern cities is appealing. I have yet to step foot on that continent and the prospect of travelling there is very enticing. On the other hand, I could be a little lost with the even more complicated languages with alphabets I can't even read and I would feel like a giant all the time and not be able to find any clothes to fit!

I had never considered the Middle East before, but now I wonder whether I should open myself up to the idea of living in a modern city like Dubai. I have always imagined it to be a soulless place and don't really relish the idea of having to live in air-conditioned shopping malls and cars all the time. However, after 3 years in Uganda, I wouldn't mind living somewhere where things actually work and earning a few big bucks.

Do you see why I am in such a dilemma?

Certainly the strangest thing I have ever seen is the 'Disney English School of Shanghai', where the whole curriculum is based around Disney films. I don't think I would be avery good fit for this sickly sweet approach to education, unless I was able to spend any bad tempered days in role as Cruella de Ville! If I had to teach in a themed school, I would prefer the Hogwarts International School. Lunch duties would be far more entertaining, I could turn anybody who chatters in class into a frog and fly home on my broomstick at the end of the day.

Take a look at this clip about the Disney school

Funnily enough, the percentage of British teachers at this school is a big fat zero! Oh and take a look at the 'up next' clip in the top right hand corner - a slightly disturbing juxtaposition I would say!

Bush Mechanics

Here is my simple guide to 'bush mechanics' or how to fix your car in the middle of nowhere!

It is essential to have music on a long road trip, so adding an extra 2 hour wait to the journey is well worth it ... except when the car breaks down an hour later! In Uganda, everything can and frequently is fixed using duct tape. The skill lies in knowing which wires to cut and which ones to leave alone!

Take advantage of unexpected pit stops and tuck into the tasty home made cheesy pesto scones!

And when it gets really bad (or starts raining, whichever comes first) crack open a bottle of chilled white wine from the cool box. After all, you may as well take advantage when you have hired a driver along with the car!

To quote my friend:

"It's like a general rule of life: if something is on fire, you should wait until it cools down before touching it!"

Unfortunately, our driver had not heard such words of wisdom and decided to pour a jerry can of water directly into the smoking engine. Unsurprisingly, it backfired on him!

He was also convinced that the car would be fine after this because his 'sixth sense' told him so. But why didn't his sixth sense tell him the car would break down an hour into the journey in the first place? Not to worry, even in the back of beyond, you can find a helpful mechanic on call, ready to share some helpful tips and stick a blade of grass into the engine to diagnose the problem. We decided that we weren't convinced that this mechanic was totally bona fide, mainly for the unrelated but disturbing reason that his flies were undone, he wasn't wearing underpants and he hadn't noticed that his bits were on display to one and all.  Five minutes later, our driver decided to give up on his sixth sense and request a replacement car.

I would have thought that the simplest way to replace the diesel would be for the car hire company to reimburse us for what we had bought so that we could fill up our tank again. TIA rules here though, so we used buckets and empty water bottles to drain the fuel from one vehicle and poured it into the next, losing several precious litres in the process! 

Can you see a weird looking face in this bowl of diesel? Kind of looks like he's laughing at us, don't you think?

I would have used a tube to transfer the diesel from one car to the other . But then who am I to comment?

Ellies!

OK - there are many, many elephant pictures here, but couldn't resist sharing them all!

Is there anything cuter than this baby elephant with his mummy?

This big fella reminded us of the woolly mammoth from the Ice Age films!

A little play fighting

Go easy boys!

Sizing each other up!

The whole clan!

Lions!

Lots and lots of lions - sleeping lions, mating lions and tree climbing lions! 

This little lady was hiding in the long grasses ready to pounce!

He's on the prowl for a lady! Given that this couple must have been at least 200 metres away (and hardly visible to the naked eye) I think I did pretty well to capture them!

Wham bam, thank you ma'am!  He didn't waste much time - it was over in seconds. Then again, since lions do the business up to fifty times a day during mating season, then I guess they don't have much time for pleasantries. I hope he is at least polite lion and calls her in the morning!

Isn't a cactus tree a little uncomfortable to rest in? Apparently, the tree climbing lions from Ishasha National Park down the road have popped up to Queen Elizabeth to teach the lions to climb trees. What they forgot to mention is that fig or acacia trees are FAR more comfortable - that must be the next lesson!

Just off for a stroll down the road! She must have decided that it wasn't so comfortable after all!

I think it's time for Ali to have an adventure!

It's a sunny morning in Kampala and I have finally come to the end of an incredibly long half term. Tomorrow I'm off on safari, returning to the lovely Katara Lodge for a spot of R & R and a little animal spotting, should the mood take me. This time we're taking it easy, hiring a car and a driver, I am on holiday after all. You never know - I may actually have some adventures to talk about when I get back ...

Shakespeare's Sunday Cycle ride

I think I shall adapt the words of William Shakespeare to describe this morning's bike ride which consisted of 30km and 3 hours of pouring rain:


I am in MUD (and rain)

Stepped in so far that, should I wade no more,

Returning were as tedious as go o'er.

We go, We go, We go ...

Whilst it may be a bit of a challenge to find a bag of sugar in the Kampala shops at the moment, there is certainly no shortage of vuvuzuelas. I was rudely awakened by one outside my house this morning and people have been honking on them non-stop ever since. Uganda is playing Kenya today at Namboole and spirits are certainly high. Every boda in town is adorned with the Ugandan flag and I've seen a gazillion Cranes shirts on the backs of Ugandans and Mzungus alike.

Try as I might, I can't muster up much enthusiasm for the old game of two halves. I also wonder if I am the only person in the world who has no interest in the Rugby World Cup right now. I had a pleasant afternoon reading my book and going for a swim instead!

It was nil-nil at half time if you're interested, but have just heard an almighty cheer, so perhaps Uganda has scored. Blar, blar, blar ...

Guilty Pleasures

We all have our little guilty pleasures. The things we secretly like, but don't want to admit to doing. Here are a few of my current guilty pleasures:

Footballers Wives
I never would have stooped to watching this when I lived in the UK, but when I saw it on sale at Papa's Corner in Kisementi (my regular dodgy DVD haunt) I could not resist the temptation. Fake nails, fake blondes, affairs, kidnappings, Chardonnay's boobs being accidentally set on fire, lots of gratuitous scenes of blokes' bare bottoms in the shower ... what's not to like? I have to say I was a little mortified when I spotted one of the wives driving a blue Rav 4 though - but I suspect hers had fewer bumps and was a newer model than ancient old Matilda (1994 edition!)

Radio 4 on the i-player
I figured I needed something to counterbalance the trash that is Footballers Wives! Now please don't imagine that I am listening to the Archers, but I do enjoy the News Quiz and a few of the comedy shows. People complain about the standard of UK television these days, but I do miss the sarcastic humour of programmes like Have I Got News For You and so forth. I have to say that I was surprised by the squeakiness of Charlie Brooker's voice though - I did not expect somebody who writes such an acerbic column eac to be so high pitched.

Roses
Not the chocolates, but the flowers. 2 dozen roses of any colour you may choose for 5000 UGX or just over £1 (and they have just nearly doubled in price). An innocent enough pleasure you would imagine, but I am aware that some of the working conditions in the rose farms are appalling. I have heard stories of them spraying the fields with pesticide whilst people are working. I really shouldn't support this by buying them. However, how do you know that the working conditions are any better when you pay £15 for the same bunch of flowers in the UK. It doesn't justify my buying of the flowers though ...

Galaxy Caramel
This time it is chocolate. I first spotted it on a supermarket shelf in Kampala back around May. I thought it was a rare treat, so I immediately bought a bar. Suddenly it was everywhere and it tasted like real, creamy Galaxy, nothing like the Dairy Milk that always tastes strangely waxy here.  Then it disappeared completely for a while. It's back now, so it's OK to eat as much as I can while it lasts, right?

Driving to work
I live less than a kilometre away from school and yet I still get in the car each morning. It's both lazy and bad for the environment. So why do I do it? Well, I really don't relish the idea of being knee high in mud, falling down a pothole or being knocked down into a storm drain by a careless driver. Give me a safe pavement and I will happily walk.