Donkeys, Mules and Total Asses!

Let's just get a few things straight:

Donkeys and horses are totally different species. A mule is a hybrid of a male donkey and a female horse. I'm not sure what a female donkey and a male horse would make. Nor am I sure how I seemed to be such an expert on this matter, but subsequent Googling proves that I was correct.

You can tell the difference between a donkey and a mule by looking at the head. A mule has a more horse-like head and donkeys are cuter and always look like they need cheering up, just like Eeyore!

My friends from the other side of the Atlantic thought it was slightly strange when I told them that you can take a donkey ride on the beach in Blackpool and other seaside resorts. I guess they spend their time swimming in the clean, warm ocean when they go to the beach!

We looked like total asses when we paraded through the streets of Lalibela on mules - but it was great fun!

Nobody joined in with me when I sang 'Little Donkey' as we traipsed along the dusty road ...

Little Donkey - cheer up x

Mules!

Blazing saddles!

Causing a stir in Lalibela!

Italian Style and Design

As always, I got lots of entertainment value from the other tourists and their 'Africa clothes'.

As you can see by this pair of shoes, many of the tourists were in the autumn of their lives. I think we lowered the average age by about 30 years!

Bloodyhell, these National Trust blue plastic bags get everywhere. I remember having great fun skidding across the polished floors of Sizergh Castle when I was a kid! Don't think this person was agile enough though!

Here's a great idea - why not carry your Blackberry, passport and a wad of US dollars in a clear plastic bag around your neck?

Look at the state of this video camera - some relic from the early 80s methinks. Bet he'd have got a better pice of equipment of the market in Addis! 

Bum bags (or fanny packs as Americans would say) - marginally better than the clear plastic bag around the neck!

Believe it or not, the one in the white gloves is a woman! What are the gloves for? Can't believe she was irresponsible enough to come to Africa without a SARS mask. If you look carefully in the background, you can see a spectacular example of a German mullet from the early 80s!

Simien Mountains

They say the camera never lies, so the pictures below would suggest that we endured hours, if not days, of tough hiking! We didn't! Since we were on such a whistle-stop tour of Ethiopia we took the easy option and drove up through the mountains and went for a light stroll around the summit! We stayed in a lodge and enjoyed a couple of sundowners.

A few of the gentle gelada baboons .... 

Addis and Lalibela - Ethiopia

A few photos from my recent trip to Ethiopia. I'm relying on memory as I forgot to take my notepad, but will let the pictures tell the story!

This is the view overlooking Addis Ababa. It's a relatively new city, being only 125 years old and the name means 'new flower'. I enjoyed the clean streets, smooth roads and the cooler climate, due to the high altitude. I wish we had more time there to enjoy a spot of Italian food though!

Some of the most impressive sights were the rock hewn churches of Lalibela. Many of the churches are carved out of a single piece of rock and date back to the twelfth and thirteenth centuries.  Each church has its own cross (like the one shown by the priest on the photo) and the devout locals go to worship most days. 

It was a proper ABC tour (Another Bloody Cathedral) - am sure my Dad would have been impressed!!

Bush Mechanics

Here is my simple guide to 'bush mechanics' or how to fix your car in the middle of nowhere!

It is essential to have music on a long road trip, so adding an extra 2 hour wait to the journey is well worth it ... except when the car breaks down an hour later! In Uganda, everything can and frequently is fixed using duct tape. The skill lies in knowing which wires to cut and which ones to leave alone!

Take advantage of unexpected pit stops and tuck into the tasty home made cheesy pesto scones!

And when it gets really bad (or starts raining, whichever comes first) crack open a bottle of chilled white wine from the cool box. After all, you may as well take advantage when you have hired a driver along with the car!

To quote my friend:

"It's like a general rule of life: if something is on fire, you should wait until it cools down before touching it!"

Unfortunately, our driver had not heard such words of wisdom and decided to pour a jerry can of water directly into the smoking engine. Unsurprisingly, it backfired on him!

He was also convinced that the car would be fine after this because his 'sixth sense' told him so. But why didn't his sixth sense tell him the car would break down an hour into the journey in the first place? Not to worry, even in the back of beyond, you can find a helpful mechanic on call, ready to share some helpful tips and stick a blade of grass into the engine to diagnose the problem. We decided that we weren't convinced that this mechanic was totally bona fide, mainly for the unrelated but disturbing reason that his flies were undone, he wasn't wearing underpants and he hadn't noticed that his bits were on display to one and all.  Five minutes later, our driver decided to give up on his sixth sense and request a replacement car.

I would have thought that the simplest way to replace the diesel would be for the car hire company to reimburse us for what we had bought so that we could fill up our tank again. TIA rules here though, so we used buckets and empty water bottles to drain the fuel from one vehicle and poured it into the next, losing several precious litres in the process! 

Can you see a weird looking face in this bowl of diesel? Kind of looks like he's laughing at us, don't you think?

I would have used a tube to transfer the diesel from one car to the other . But then who am I to comment?

Sunshine daydreams

My mind is still a little foggy with the remains of malaria and the medication ... so I wonder if thinking of sunshine and holidays will clear it out.

Here are a couple of things I'm looking forward to:

• Next week, I am heading out on the school trip of a lifetime ... to Zanzibar! I am very excited and know that I am very lucky to have this opportunity. Year 6 trips usually involve a wet week in Wales, but this itinerary includes snorkelling, a trip to a rain forest and swimming with dolphins!
• I have just spoken to my lovely friend in London and we have booked a hotel for our mini-break in Madrid. I can't wait to experience a little European culture again - be it the galleries or simply enjoying a mid-day sangria and a siesta!

I'm feeling better already ...

Well it won't be so tranquil once Year 6 arrive!

Can't wait to sit and take in the world over a glass of vino!

Light meals and an abundance of wine

It's been a while since I have written about food, so I think I can be excused for bringing it up again!
Secondly, food and wine certainly featured largely in the trip, so it would be rude not to mention it!

The first thing you should know about South African cuisine is that when you see 'Light Meals' on the menu it means nothing of the sort. I'm not sure what the difference between a 'Light Meal' and a standard meal is, as they both tend to come on plates the size of dustbin lids, except that there is perhaps a little more lettuce in the lighter option! I'm not quite sure why we never seemed to grasp this fact and spent most of the holiday feeling stuffed full, albeit of good, rich food.

Just a starter before the main feature!

Many of my friends here talk about how they miss McDonalds, but since the nearest 'Golden Arches' are over 3000 km away in Cairo, it's just a distant dream. As a veggy, I don't have these cravings, but that is not to say that I don't miss a few Western treats. My first port of call in Cape Town was not Table Mountain or Cape Point, but the Haagen-Dazs  cafe at the Waterfront!

 We all enjoyed more than our fair share of South African wine, sampling them along the way. I even enjoyed the day I was designated driver as this still did not stop me from drinking in the stunning mountainous scenery around Stellenbosch and Franschoek.

Hmmm not a bad vintage!

All gone!

Believe it or not this non-alcoholic!

Franschoek

Mum - you're supposed to sip it!

A good spot for a light lunch!

Vineyards

Lions and Tigers and Bears ha ha

Actually not lions and tigers and bears - rather cheetahs, elephants and penguins ha ha!

 Spier winery has a cheetah sanctuary where you can get up close and personal with the big cats. They're pretty docile most of the time ... although putting our lives in the hands of the spaced out gap year volunteer was probably the most worrying aspect. She had serious issues actually remembering what we should do when we went into the enclosure! These cheetahs were the runts of litters and never would have survived in the wild ... and they probably never will after being so mollycoddled!

Dad broke the habits of a lifetime and made a canine friend. Who would ever have thought that it would be a big slobbery Doberman? He still had issues with the sausage dog though!

Mum went ostrich mad over all the products. She wanted to spend 800 quid on an ostrich handbag, but in quite possibly THE quote of the holiday, she declared:
"It's not really worth buying one at my age as I wouldn't get the value for money. If I was your age I would definitely buy one!"
Errr right - do you have any plans of popping your clogs in the next while mother? Funnily enough, if I only had a short while to live I would max out every single credit card! Not so keen on the ostrich handbags though ...

Feeding the elephants at Knysna Elephant Park was much less tiring on the bum muscles than a 4 hour game drive over bumpy ground, but also not quite as magical. Still cute though!

It was so hot on the beach in Simonstown that I'm surprised these penguins hadn't turned pink and black! They waddled up to us without a care in the world - and best of all we sneaked onto the beach for free!

Christmas chaos

The other Llandudno!

Waiting for my parents to arrive in South Africa was like ... well literally was ... waiting for Christmas. As I turned up the fan in my room, I found it hard to believe that it could possibly be minus double figures in the UK. First there was the snow in Paris, then there was a laissez-faire attitude to rebooking the flight on behalf of the French airline. I was lucky a couple of friends from Kampala were in town as they kept me entertained. On Christmas Eve, I joined the throngs of local shoppers in the mad Christmas rush, buying ingredients for our first ever Christmas braii - several bottles of wine and bubbly, a Christmas cake, mince pies and I even made a good attempt of buying the meat!
On Christmas Eve I spoke to my parents as they were in transit in Dubai and we realised they had neglected to book a hotel for the overnight layover in Jo'burg. Armed with only a 2004 Lonely Planet, I contacted all the hotels and eventually found them some room at an inn. I then worried whether my Mum would survive a night in a guest house that the Lonely Planet only described as 'passable'! I contented myself with the thought that if the room was that bad, they could pitch the tent they had brought with them for me inside the room. This is not as improbable as it sounds, as my Mum was famous for bringing her own deckchair and cushion to sit on when she visited me in student houses, so afraid was she of catching something from the ancient brown velour sofas (my former housemates will testify this fact)!

On the way to Cape Point on Boxing Day

On Christmas Day I awoke to blue skies and a blazing sunshine over Llandudno, Cape Town. This Llandudno is far more beautiful and upscale than its namesake in North Wales. I collected two travel weary parents from the airport and we took a scenic drive along the coast to our temporary home. We ate, drank and made merry, preparing for the rest of the trip ... but that's another story!

The journey to Kidepo

A thousand images flickering past.

A long and bumpy, muddy road. Huge mobile phone masts incongruous to the surroundings. Women on bicycles. A UWA truck stuck in the mud. Women with babies strapped to their backs using a calabash as sun protection. IDP camps filled with folks unable to go home. Fields of sunflowers. School children in day-glow pink uniforms walking and laughing their way home. Signs advising you to beware of landmines. Dwarf cows with big humps. Buses with messages from the Bible plastered across the windscreen. Children gathered around a water pump and carrying jerrycans. Farmers working in the blazing sun. Countless signs for the countless NGOs at work in this region. Fields of crops. Every shade of green imaginable. Blue skies, cloudy skies, grey skies, sheet lightning, torrential rain, blazing sunshine.

A hundred photos taken along the way, two thirds blurry as we whizzed by too quickly!