Rhinos!

Last week I took Matilda (my car) on her final road trip up to Ziwa Rhino Sanctuary. A special visitor decided to perch on the bonnet gaze at his reflection in the windscreen before climbing up onto the roof. It was only on closer inspection that I realised that Ugandan crowned cranes have very long and sharp claws ... oops!

This time we saw eight of the twelve rhinos in the sanctuary, including Obama, who was 'being stubborn' last time I visited. Apparently, he is behaving much better now he is a teenager!

I didn't realise the big bull was having a gigantic pee when I took his photo - I'm glad I wasn't standing too close to the action.

We spent an hour following the rhinos around and left as the heavens opened and the roads turned into slippery mud. Matilda was non too happy as she's really a city girl and was well out of her comfort zone in such conditions!

Looking forward to ...

Life is good, if not a little busy! I’ve decided to make the most of my remaining time in Uganda and have lots of ‘bucket list’ plans in the pipeline. I am now coming out of my phase of finding everything in Uganda triply more frustrating than usual to feeling a little melancholic about leaving. I'll be wearing rose tinted glasses until I leave ...

Sunday morning biking has been great fun of late. More often than not, I used to find myself the only girl in the group. These days, there are almost as many girls as boys, which means I am not the only one to complain about the swamps and single tracks. Funny how the male and female perspective is different on things – when I nearly went A over T today, one of the guys said I just performed a great front wheelie!

My biggest problem right now is that there are too many things to do and not enough time to squeeze it all in. Next week it’s the Irish Ball and I’m wondering whether I can manage to go to that, then go biking at the Lagoon Resort on the Sunday. I really want to do both, but I have a sneaking suspicion that next Sunday may be a little more sedentary! Watch this space …

Also on the cards is a trip up to Murchison Falls to camp on the Nile Delta. Yes – that’s me camping, in the middle of a national park, surrounded by wild animals from hippos, to crocodiles to lions.

If I survive that then it won’t be long until the Easter holidays when I head off Kenya for my final safari in the Masai Mara, followed by a third visit to the gorgeous Watamu on the Indian Ocean. Not very adventurous , I know, but it’s fabulous, so who cares? I’m going to be joined by a very old friend, so I look forward to showing her a few of the sights and scenes of Africa!

Donkeys, Mules and Total Asses!

Let's just get a few things straight:

Donkeys and horses are totally different species. A mule is a hybrid of a male donkey and a female horse. I'm not sure what a female donkey and a male horse would make. Nor am I sure how I seemed to be such an expert on this matter, but subsequent Googling proves that I was correct.

You can tell the difference between a donkey and a mule by looking at the head. A mule has a more horse-like head and donkeys are cuter and always look like they need cheering up, just like Eeyore!

My friends from the other side of the Atlantic thought it was slightly strange when I told them that you can take a donkey ride on the beach in Blackpool and other seaside resorts. I guess they spend their time swimming in the clean, warm ocean when they go to the beach!

We looked like total asses when we paraded through the streets of Lalibela on mules - but it was great fun!

Nobody joined in with me when I sang 'Little Donkey' as we traipsed along the dusty road ...

Little Donkey - cheer up x

Mules!

Blazing saddles!

Causing a stir in Lalibela!

Simien Mountains

They say the camera never lies, so the pictures below would suggest that we endured hours, if not days, of tough hiking! We didn't! Since we were on such a whistle-stop tour of Ethiopia we took the easy option and drove up through the mountains and went for a light stroll around the summit! We stayed in a lodge and enjoyed a couple of sundowners.

A few of the gentle gelada baboons .... 

A Culinary Tour of Ethiopia

Above is one of my first meals in Ethiopia. Orthodox Christians in Ethiopia fast for an extended Lent period, cutting out all meat and dairy products from their diet. Understandably, the evening before the fasting starts is a huge party night, where people enjoy their last night of feasting on all the forbidden foods. When I tried to order 'fasting food' (the veggie option), I was told I could have it tomorrow. No amount of explaining would get me a veggie meal. In the end, we agreed that we could have a dish with a mixture of meat and veggies. Having had Ethiopian food a number of times, I was content with this, as the sauces normally neatly compartmentalised. But not this time. We were presented with this injera parcel with everything mixed up. I enjoyed nibbling on the omelette on top but was horrified to discover that what I expected to be a tomato sauce was actually raw meat! Even the most hardened carnivores amongst us found that hard to stomach!

Later that evening, we visited a local bar to watch (and tried to join in with) a little cultural dancing. One guy nearly got a slap when he said to my friend 'Do you like touch?' ... The poor bloke was actually just asking her what she thought of the local honey wine, which is called 'tej'! How easily we are misunderstood! 

Saint George is not only the patron saint of England, but is also a bit of a hero in Ethiopia. Churches are dedicated to him throughout the land and the image of him bravely slaying a dragon adorns many a mural. I enjoyed a few beers in his honour too!

Ethiopians enjoy chewing on a little chat, which is said to have a mild euphoric effect. I didn't get that far though as I found it so disgusting that I had to spit it out after a couple of minutes. I didn't fare much better when I tried chewing coca leaves in Peru either! 

Here's a more typical injera dish, where the foods are served separately. Thankfully for me, by everything on this plate was 'fasting food'. My favourites were the spinach and the 'shiro' bean stew. I'm not entirely sure what the cold chips were doing on the plate though!

Addis and Lalibela - Ethiopia

A few photos from my recent trip to Ethiopia. I'm relying on memory as I forgot to take my notepad, but will let the pictures tell the story!

This is the view overlooking Addis Ababa. It's a relatively new city, being only 125 years old and the name means 'new flower'. I enjoyed the clean streets, smooth roads and the cooler climate, due to the high altitude. I wish we had more time there to enjoy a spot of Italian food though!

Some of the most impressive sights were the rock hewn churches of Lalibela. Many of the churches are carved out of a single piece of rock and date back to the twelfth and thirteenth centuries.  Each church has its own cross (like the one shown by the priest on the photo) and the devout locals go to worship most days. 

It was a proper ABC tour (Another Bloody Cathedral) - am sure my Dad would have been impressed!!

Ellies!

OK - there are many, many elephant pictures here, but couldn't resist sharing them all!

Is there anything cuter than this baby elephant with his mummy?

This big fella reminded us of the woolly mammoth from the Ice Age films!

A little play fighting

Go easy boys!

Sizing each other up!

The whole clan!

Sean K in K Town

Last year, R Kelly played in Kampala. I point blank refused to go on account of hating R & B, hating crowds and hating the horrible stories surrounding his pretty sordid past. My friends who did go reported being squashed, pushed around and pick pocketed. Then there was a shooting in town, following the concert.

Last night, it was Sean Kingston's turn to visit K-town. Again, it's not really my musical cup of tea - I'd be more at home seeing Noah and the Whale or Florence and the Machine, but folksie indie stuff does not go down too well in Africa!

VIP tickets bought you a separate, less crowded entrance, a few more square feet to dance in, beer tokens and glo-sticks! Now I was more excited about the glo-sticks than anything else. I was never allowed them as a kid, as my Mum was convinced that the reason they glowed was because they were filled with toxic nuclear waste from Chernobyl. 

And how was the concert? After several hours of watching sequin mini-skirted girls dance and gyrate, a Nigerian warm up band, Sean Kingston  appeared on stage. For one so young, he needed to take an awful lot of rests. He barely seemed to be able to get through a song without having a little 'time out'. Maybe it was a clever ploy to spin out limited material - oh and if in any doubt - just stop and repeat at high volume 'Sean Kingston is playing Kampalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa' and so on.

That being said, the crowd was fantastic - very well behaved, positive and light hearted. I won't be following him around the world on the rest of the tour though!

Tourist Tat!

Today's blog is inspired by this article in The Guardian today.

There are few certainties in life, but here is one. Where ever you may roam, from Paris to deepest, darkest Peru, there is sure to be a souvenir shop by the exit. South America probably has the monopoly on cheesy, shining Jesus paintings, sculptures and key-rings, whilst Africa has no end of masks, drums and wood carvings.

Over the years, I have inflicted a fair few little treasures on my nearest and dearest. Sometimes, I have to confess, it is fun to buy a present purely to watch the receiver's look of confusion, laughter or fake appreciation.

My favourite tacky present of all?

An 'up the revolution, Che Guevara Communist' baseball cap from Cuba for my Gran!

What is YOUR favourite tacky souvenir?

Sandcastles and dolphins

This time last week, I was swimming in the crystal blue waters of the Indian Ocean ... this week I am just about managing to keep my head above water in the sea of paperwork and endless tasks that mark the end of the school year.

The long awaited Zanzibar trip lived up to all expectations. I had worried that some of the children would get homesick, but in the end, we had trouble dragging them away.From the moment they spotted the famous 'Blue Beach' it was clear that this was going to be a week to remember. The kids loved their little beachside abodes, adorning them with flowers on the beds and welcome mats for the daily room inspections. One group even tried to bribe us with welcome snacks on arrival for extra points, but unfortunately their method of melting the marshmallows by dunking them in the kettle did not put them in good stead!

I'm beginning to think that the animals of the African continent must be having a good giggle at my expense. In the past three years, I have trekked through almost impenetrable forests to spot gorillas and chimps, driven around fig tree circles in search of tree climbing lions and spent hours on safari seeking out lions and other majestic creatures. This time, it was the turn of the dolphins. Now swimming with dolphins is one of those activities that is somewhat over-romanticised. What they don't tell you, is that you have to get up at the crack of dawn, to board a vessel that does not look worthy of the village duckpond, let alone a tumultuous ocean. A few of my group, who had better sea legs than I did, dived in at every opportunity to swim with Flipper and friends. Meanwhile, myself and a couple of the girls turned an insipid shade of green and I was little comfort to them as I hurled over the edge! I was relieved when somebody else decided the white horses were too big and that we should head back to dry land.

 The final day's visit to Stone Town was a little hurried for my liking. We spent some time in the former slave quarters and learnt about Zanzibar's colourful history. However, we barely had time to get lost amongst the maze of ancient alleyways and I was too busy helping the girls decide what they should buy for their little brothers and sisters to have any time to shop myself. I will have to book a return visit sometime!

The trip marks the end of Primary for these children, many of whom I have known for 3 years, having taught some of them twice. Soon they will be teenagers and will leave behind the fun of building sandcastles and peering into rock pools. I will miss them next year, but they are ready to fly the nest.

Busy, busy , busy!

Phew - what a day! Have been running around like a madwoman, trying to finish reports, grab time for a swim, brunch at the Serena, get a pink pedicure (very important of course), buy Tanzanian Shillings and of course, packing.

So it's a 5am start at school so we can jet off to Zanzibar. I am a very lucky teacher indeed! If anybody needs me in the next week, I will be here...

TMA

For the past few weeks I've been suffering from a nasty case of TMA. Like many tropical diseases, it can lie undetected for sometime, festering away, until diagnosed by a friend. Symptoms include a general sense of lethargy, lack of inspiration (notice how this is the first time I have blogged in about a fortnight) and serious cravings for shops and good customer service.

TMA, short for Too Much Africa, and more specifically TMK (Too Much Kampala) is an insidious little infection but luckily there is simple and effective cure:
leave Kampala as soon as possible and take a large dose of Jinja.

This weekend I recuperated from TMK at The Haven in Jinja, whilst celebrating a friend's birthday. Specific treatments included gazing at a beautiful view, good company and conversation. Activities were lighthearted and leisurely such as Scrabble and Petanque on the lawn. Most importantly, it is important to keep hydrated on such occasions with liberal doses of white wine or gin and tonic.

I am feeling invigorated and feel I have the energy to make it through the next few weeks until the holidays.

Tri Again!

And the challenge for March is ... a sprint triathlon. This year, the organisers have moved the venue to a pool, so there's no risk of drowning in Lake Victoria or contracting bilharzia - phew!
 It's a 400 metre swim, 20 km bike and a 5 km bike. And it's in two weeks time! Luckily, Uganda has given us lots of public holidays recently, so we've had extra time to get some training in. Today was a public holiday because of the Mayoral Elections, since the first attempt last month resulted in minor riots after they found out that many of the votes had been fudged. As far as I know everything has gone fairly smoothly today, or at least I haven't received any text messages from the British High Commission to inform me of violence and areas to avoid.
I have a new biking buddy and she has taken to it like a fish to water. She has no problems with attacking the hills, but is feeling a little frustrated with the frequent shout-outs from random passers-by. Ugandans have a few lessons to learn in tact and diplomacy. How do you make somebody realise that shouting "Eh, you are last" or "Pedal faster, you are lazy" at a passing cyclist is not OK? Particularly when the said commentator is sitting on his rear end, guzzling a Nile Special, doing diddly-squat. On the other hand, rather a tactless Ugandan than an aggressive chavvy British teenager ...
This time I'm concentrating on the transitions, in particular the painful bike to run. My two fab training buddies and I have been egging each other on and the training has been enjoyable and stress free. Today we practised the whole thing, but in the wrong order. We took a 17km bike ride through the villages, passing the Baha'i Temple at the end, followed by a 5 km wobbly legged run. We finished with the swim and I now fully understand why the swim is placed at the start of the event and not at the end. I always thought it was annoying to have the swim first, as changing into biking clothes afterwards is going to be a bit annoying. By the time we hit the pool, after a hot and thirsty run in the thirty degree heat, we flopped into the pool and had about as much control as jellyfish! Lesson learnt! Then, to add insult to injury, the sky clouded over and there was a giant clap of thunder just as we finished the swim and hoped to relax in the sun.
Instead we consoled ourselves with a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits, managing to undo all our good work in a matter of minutes! Perfect!

Come fly with me

Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away

If you can use some exotic booze

There's a bar in far Bombay

Come on and fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away

Once upon a time, flying was a luxurious affair, the reserve of the rich and famous. Passengers dressed to impress, Frank Sinatra sang about it and I imagine the whole experience was exciting and fabulous. Then came the package tours of the 1980s and any Tom, Dick or Harry could afford to jet away to foreign parts. When it comes to mile high fashion, the Brits are probably the world's worst dressed. I used to giggle at the Colombians who turned up at the airport with their high heels, voluminous hair and a full face of make-up, but it's better than the sloppy track-suits and combat trousers we all tend to wear. 

By the mid noughties (eek - horrid word - 2000s, zeros ??? I still haven't found a decent abbreviation for this decade), I was jetting off to European cities for a penny plus taxes on the budget airlines. Sure, they may try to charge you a quid to spend a penny, but who can complain at that price? 

In recent years, in these security-paranoid times, flying has become ever more hasslesome and humiliating. How many items of clothing are we going to be asked to remove before passing through the metal detector gates next? 

We needed a whole trolley to ourselves!

Checking nothing went astray

I thought I had experienced it all until I travelled with an East African budget airline to Kilimanjaro. The first plane looked like something that had been decommissioned by Aeroflot in 1972 and the unpleasant toilet smell wafted down the aisles for the entirity of the journey. In Nairobi, we did have some special treatment though. As we had such a short layover, we were worried about whether our luggage would get lost. We need not have been concerned. After disembarking the plane, the crew proceeded to empty the luggage hold in front of our very eyes and we saw that it was loaded onto the trolley and sent to the next plane. We then walked across the airfield an into the terminal. I do appreciate the fact that they still let you walk to the buildings here rather than put everyone on a bus for a 500 metre journey.

The return journey was no less eventful. We called the first plane, a tiny 18 seater propeller, 'the tube' and prepared ourselves for a bumpy ride. The journey was surprisingly calm and we landed in Nairobi 30 minutes later, flying at an altitude lower than what we climbed on Kilimanjaro! When we checked in again, we got upgraded. Finally - I've been hoping for this to happen for years! I should have contained my excitement ... not only was there no bubbly in business class, but we couldn't even get a glass of wine! 

Oh well - I guess I'm just not destined for luxury travel!

What I saw on safari!

Up until now, my safari experiences have all been in Uganda. Here, safari is peaceful and you can get close to nature, often without encountering another car for several hours. Many of the visitors to the National Parks here are working in the country, and they show off the country to their visiting friends and family. In Tanzania, however, safari is a big business.
As soon as I passed through the gates of Lake Manyara, I knew this was going to be a somewhat different experience. For starters, the loos were fully flushable, complete with liquid soap and hand dryers. There was a plush gift shop, selling everything from cans of coca-cola to fluffy toy lions. I was most fascinated by some of the creatures we spotted within the park - a totally different species of tourist to those found in Uganda.
What is the purpose of the face mask and why do people feel it necessary to wear matching khaki? I am not kidding when I tell you that I actually saw somebody wearing a 'Dr Livingstone, I presume' style pith helmet!

Multi-functional belt

What are you afraid of?

Full safari suit plus paparazzi lens

Matching hats

Is this a traffic jam on the M25? Oh no - there's a lion in the distance

Be careful - those animals may steal your bag

Can anyone explain the gloves?

9 out of 10 Ugandans would have something to say about the size of this arse!

 In short, I enjoyed the safari and spotting the Big Five, but came away with a new found appreciation for the tranquility of a safari in Uganda.